Booya.

Things you forget to say will haunt you. (Bonus points if you know what song that's from.)

Timing is everything, yeah? Don't I know it.

Anywho, I'd like to share with y'all my new obsession: MetroMint water. Ohhhh it's so good. It's water with a hint of either peppermint or spearmint, unsweetened. I know they have it at Whole Foods, that's where I've been getting it. But you have to try it, it's fantastic.

I am lost in a world of acronyms, most of which I don't understand. The FEA BRM, e-Gov's LoBs. Crap like that. The best part is, I'm tasked with writing an intro to explain what they all are and, more specifically, what OURS is. Um. Yeah. On another sad note, I lost one of my favorite earrings this weekend. A gold hoop with diamonds along it. And of course, it was one of the few pieces I own that wasn't insured. Blast!

I'm running out of time on my lunch break, so I'll just say one last thing- have to give HUGE props to the boy. In the time since we met up again last fall, I have lost a job, moved house, and just got over an "incident" where my hormones were going absolutely haywire and I was a total bitch for about 5 days straight. Not to mention, I'm also pretty positive I've gained weight in those 6 months. Needless to say, during that time I've had some of the lowest points I've ever had in my life. And I've received little more than an eye roll from him during these times that I'm acting crazy. That's crazy in itself. But I'm definitely not complaining... quite the opposite. I found a good egg. :-)

Not any better.

So I'm not feeling any better, but that's beside the point.

You know what I really hate? When people I know ruin things for me. For instance, there are certain people that I just generally dislike. So I will automatically dislike anyone else I meet that has their same name, even though I understand how irrational that is. Or, when a certain song that I hear reminds me of someone, no matter how significant their impact was on my life, and then it gets me in a mood. Sometimes it'll be a good one, if I like the person or enjoy(ed) the time I had with them. But a song just came on (there are 2 songs that can do this to me) that made me think about a certain person that I'll call Blondie. The problem is, the song doesn't make me sad as such, but it reminds me of him and how I think that our "relationship" has some unfinished business. That's not saying that I would want to go out with him even if I was single, or even remotely like him in that way. It's not like that. It's just a friend that I haven't seen in a long time and we didn't leave things in a good way the last time we spoke. I guess I just feel bad about that. You wanna know what? Fuck it. I've got more important things to worry about. Like trying to find some work to do today.

This is not good.

I don't feel well. And there's something else going on that is not letting me get any work done or, frankly, think about much else. Come on, come on. Nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all, the needle returns to the start of the song and we'll all sing along like before... is it the weekend yet???

They're onto me...

I saw the weird guy with the dog walking into the office again today. This is getting ridiculous.

There are two people in my office who don't know when conversations are over. Nothing will be said, and I'll kind of look away and say "Well..." and they still just stand there with a stupid grin on their faces. It makes me so uncomfortable! The one face seriously has a Stephen King book-like quality to it, too. *shivers*

Who, by the way, just came by to tell me to stop work on something I've been working on for the past 5 days because the contract is being revised. Ugh.

Her: "Do you actually have any writing experience at ALL?"
Me: "...How do you mean? Like, research papers? If so, yeah, I wrote a lot in undergrad and grad school."
Her: "Hrrumph."

So, just because I never wrote about anything dealing with computer programs or technical concepts, guess that means I can't write at all. Doesn't do too much for my professional confidence.

On another note... my hair went from being quite dark to kind of a light copper over the weekend. Interesting, I know. No one at work has said anything at all to me about it... they HAD to have noticed. So I guess that means they don't like it, right? Otherwise they'd say something.

This blog has been filled with so much self-doubt, it's unreal. I need to think of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs (by Ari Hest)...

My mother once told me
The thicker your skin
The better off you'll be when this world brings you down
Well it's trying to control me
And leave me without hope
In the past I've been burned
But I've lived and I've learned

When I heard their reservations
When I heard their bitter words
I shined a light upon their wisdom no matter how absurd
And it broke my heart to pieces
And I questioned my own beliefs
My dignity was gone
But it's time to move on

Beneath the shelter of the pouring rain
In the absence of this fear and pain
I will finally big this ball and chain
A fond farewell
On the road that leads me to my place
I'm gonna rid my heart of past disgrace
I will finally bid this sluggish pace
A fond farewell



Makes me feel a bit better anyways.